


Friend of the Tyrant Lord's

by perpetuallyqwqing



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Again, Also appropriately dubbed the Gurgang, Biting, Crack Fic, Cray Setting, Cray Units - Character - Freeform, Dark Irregulars, Everybody Suffers, Gold Paladin, Gurguit decides to fuck around, Knights of the Sun make a brief appearance, M/M, MINOR DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE, POV Switches, Scharhrot's thirsty vampire ass, Taunting, Vampirism, a lot of personal hcs, cant be ooc if they're all built on my personal hcs, except gurguit, gurguit's having a good time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetuallyqwqing/pseuds/perpetuallyqwqing
Summary: In which Gurguit decides it's clearly the perfect time to ditch his whole team in the middle of a Dark Zone investigation for some vampire ass. Ezel suffers the consequences.alternate title: "even grandmasters want to fuck around sometimes (literally)"
Relationships: Gurguit and Scharhrot, Gurguit/Scharhrot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Friend of the Tyrant Lord's

**Author's Note:**

> crack, again, because crack is wonderful and you cant get enough of it.  
> you can thank my friend for suggesting that gurguit and schar be childhood friends in my modern au, so now im writing them in my cray one. DI extras are not specified here because i dont DI. It'd be funny if i did hit some random one with the descs i bullshitted tho 
> 
> Doesn’t take place in a specified point in time. 
> 
> There is also an important personal hc for gurguit that will become apparent in the fic. I’ll explain at the end.
> 
> onwards to crack!

It had been rather funny, actually, for the bandits to immediately associate him as a friend of the tyrant lord Scharhrot. They aren't completely wrong, but Gurguit finds the whole thing amusing enough to go with it, telling his men to fall back while he steps forward, both hands raised. 

"It wouldn't do us good to fight here," he reasons to the attackers, a rag-tag group of dark elves and demons surrounding them with bared teeth. "Let my men go, and I will come with you." 

Gurguit hears Coel have a heart attack behind him. 

The older ones, thankfully, have more faith in their Grandmaster: Perimore quickly shushes a protesting Jeffrey before the young knight could make a sound, while Jagon and Gorboduc both clamp their palms onto the shoulders of a wide-eyed Kimarcus. Lavinia doesn't say anything, but Gurguit can feel the stress radiating off the red haired Holy Mage, all the way from the back row where she stands. He did feel a little bad for pulling this on his subordinates out of nowhere, but Gurguit isn't one to do things without a plan. And he's pretty damn confident in his plan. 

The bandits laugh, a throaty howling sound offensive to even deaf ears. The leader, a one-eyed elf with black-stained claws for fingers, raises one hand and waves his own men off. They grudgingly take a step back from the knights, but close in on Gurguit himself, shoving him forward and away from the rest of his team. Gurguit lets himself get pushed around - he most certainly isn't surprised when one of the elves casts some binding spell that pins his arms behind his back, wrapping them in chains of red magic, while a demon kicks him in an order to follow along. Most of all, he doesn't believe that they'd be honest in their word, about leaving his men alone, and the fact that some of the bandits are staying behind only serves to strengthen that line of doubt. 

But they are dealing with the Dark Irregulars, and this is the Dark Zone they are talking about, so Gurguit has already expected it from the start. He knows his knights do too, even if he had thrown them off guard himself; Gurguit isn't worried about them in the slightest. If anything, he almost feels a little sorry for those attackers who think clever of themselves to try and take on those elite soldiers, leaderless or not. The fact that his team is even standing here, in the lawless Dark Zone, alone is evidence enough of their strength. The bandits will most certainly regret it, but who is he to spoil their fun? 

Gurguit glances up, to where an eagle, armored gold, circles twice before darting out of sight. Ray will certainly make it to his destination, and that the rest of his men know what to do. There is no piece out of place, maybe except for himself, but that's part of his own plan. Everything is still in order. 

With that in mind, Gurguit gives his soldiers one last glance, nodding before he follows his captors away, further into the woods alone with both hands tied behind his back.

(It takes less than five minutes for the remaining bandits to find themselves knocked out on the dirt, bound to a tree, or both in that order. Those who did manage to escape such a fate instead found themselves escaping the scene like scattering mice, tails between their legs.)

Gurguit has to hold back a laugh when he sees Scharhrot's face, the moment the bandits bring him in. 

Oh, the way the vampire's eyes - like those of dead fish's - widens, the most expressive they've probably ever been and ever will be, while his face scrunches up, in slow motion, from emotionless and slack to one of utter disbelief. Gurguit will recall it again and again in the future, and laugh again every time, for certain. But at the moment he has to act natural, so he manages to disguise his chuckle as a well-timed choke instead, when his captors kick him to his knees. One of the demons unsheathes a sword, the blade slicing through the air before stopping an inch away from the front of the Grandmaster's neck. Their leader strolls forward, bold as if he isn't facing the feared and vicious tyrant lord of the Dark Zone, Scharhrot Vampir. Bold as if he won't drop dead at any second, just for existing in Scharhrot's territory alone. 

"Saw this paladin dog running around the outskirts," the one-eyed elf drawls, inspecting his claws. "Sure you didn't lose track of your little pet, _mi'lord_?" 

Somewhere from the corner of the hall, Gurguit hears Glazend snort. 

" _What,"_ Scharhrot says, biting down on each word as his gold irises lock onto Gurguit's own amber ones. _"Do you. Want."_

The leader brightens significantly at this, completely unaware that he is the last person Scharhrot will even regard in the room. Gurguit smiles a little, eyes never leaving Scharhrot's as he shrugs. 

"Just thought I'd pay you a little visit. It's been a while, hasn't it?" 

Scharhrot doesn't budge, but the air in the room turns vicious. The leader starts talking, about trading Gurguit for some territory and money or whatever, all of which are just about as acknowledged as the bloodstains on the walls. His own lackeys shuffle around, nervous. They're more perceptive than their leader, Gurguit has to give them that. The one holding him hostage even lowers his blade a little. 

"You can get yourself out," the vampir throws out through gritted teeth, still glaring. _"What do you want?"_

Gurguit hums. 

"Well," he chooses to say, after a carefully calculated pause, smile curving into a smirk as he raises his head. "A little exercise would be good for you every now and then." 

"Get to the poin-" 

_"And I think,"_ Gurguit continues without pause, slowly tilting his head up and craning his neck to the side to make sure Scharhrot gets a full view of the little taunt he's pulling. Or tease, depending on your narrative. _"You ought to work for what you want."_

He's somewhat glad the bandits had decided to have their fun beating him up and rough up his clothes - especially his collar in the process. Gurguit hadn't felt most of it anyway, and didn't fight back just for this very image he was planning to create. In fact, their feet and knuckles are probably worse off than he is, so Gurguit hadn't lost a single thing in the process. Their bewilderment at hitting solid layers of hard, enhanced keter gold had been funny, too, howling in pain without realizing half his body is basically made of bricks until it was too late. 

His little staring contest with the scarlet haired vampir means Gurguit _absolutely_ gets to see the exact second Scharhrot's eyes turn blood red, raking the length of Gurguit's neck from his collarbone right up to his ears. The tension in the room increases a whole ten notches. 

The moment Scharhrot's eye twitches, Gurguit closes his eyes and starts counting. 

He only stops when a heavy weight slams itself onto him, throwing him back and cutting off his thoughts. His back hits the ground (now that he can feel), and when Gurguit opens his eyes, blood paints the walls and floors - every coverable surface in the hall - red. In the same vein, the bodies of his captors, standing a second ago, now lie cold and lifeless on the soaked floors. Gurguit's vision is covered red, too, though for different reasons - a head of scarlet hair, messier and longer than his own, falls over his eyes and obscures his vision. His hand slips a little as Scharhrot presses forward even further, knee digging between Gurguit's thighs. One of the vampir's hand tightens around his throat while the other digs into his waist, his face bare inches away from Gurguit's own. But Gurguit doesn't resist in the slightest, even though the chains binding his wrists have dissipated long ago. 

"Only four seconds," Gurguit remarks, with whatever air is still left in his lungs. It almost comes out as a gasp, but he holds the words steadily enough for it to not sound like one. "You broke your last record." 

_"Silence."_

Gurguit laughs because Scharhrot doesn't need to tell him that, not when the vampire releases the hand around Gurguit's throat to allow him a breath of air, then tears it away with the fangs that sink into his neck.   
  


**_you're paying me for watching over your fuckin kids_ **

Gurguit huffs (though he can’t help a smile) and flips the scrap paper - no doubt haphazardly torn from some random notebook that isn't the sender's - to write a reply. 

**_I'll return in two days. Thank you, Ezel._ **

**_\- Gurguit_ **

Ray plucks the letter from his fingers, and flies off when Gurguit's done folding it into a neater shape. He receives a reply an hour later, scrawled below his own. 

**_fuck you_ **

Gurguit chuckles, and manages to set the paper aside just as Scharhrot grumbles and drags him back to the bed. 

Garmore howls with laughter, as Ezel sits across him with crossed arms, fuming after his recount of yesterday's events. 

"Gods, pulling that kind of stunt-" Garmore manages to catch his breath, before breaking out into another fit of cackling. "-as expected of the ‘high and mighty’ Grandmaster, Gurguit!" 

"Shut up," Ezel grumbles. "You weren't there to deal with his mess. I'm never going on an expedition with that bastard again." 

"Well, half the knights under him are basically kids," Garmore remarks, loosely waving hand after he finally comes down from his laughing high. "And they can probably beat our old asses when they work together." 

"We're not _that_ old." 

Garmore snorts. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm almost 55, and you're only a few years younger than me. News flash, we've been in the damned army for the last 40 or so years. Give or take." 

Ezel just stares at him, before he puts his face into his hands and groans.

"I wouldn't be so worried about him if I were you." 

Percival is deadpan, as always. Ezel rolls his eyes and continues flipping through the investigation report from Gurguit's side. Well, the _unfinished_ investigation report from Gurguit's side, because halfway through a certain _someone_ had decided it'll be funny to hand himself over to some random bandits, and send his own men back for Ezel to babysit. He'll only be returning the day after (how or why, Ezel doesn't want to know or care) so Ezel's stuck with the incomplete info until their dear Grandmaster shows up with the rest. And he _better_ show up with the rest. 

"I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about myself. Unless you want to take some of his children off my hands?" 

"No. You can keep them." 

Percival doesn't give an inch, as usual. Doesn't give an _atom_. Ezel has to wonder how that kid - Aglovale, is it - deals with him on the daily, because they've barely exchanged a few sentences and Ezel is already out of things to say. 

"He'll be fine," Percival says at last, picking up the conversation Ezel had dropped to the floor. _Maybe he's not so dry, after all._ "Gurguit knows what people want, and how to use it against them. And, or how, to use it for himself." 

"What a terrible way of saying he's smart." 

Percival might have chuckled at this, though Ezel might also have been imagining things. The Bluish Flame Commander's sword isn't around for Ezel to confirm anything, either, so Red Lion Corp's leader goes with the latter. 

"It's a bit more than that, I believe." 

"Here's the information we needed." 

Gurguit tosses his phone to Ezel, who catches it with one hand, still scowling. He scrolls through the notes that Gurguit had taken down, eyes scanning past words and pages without registering a thing until he slams the phone down on the table. Gurguit isn't fazed, and that pisses Ezel off for some reason. 

"Where the fuck have you been for the last two days?" Ezel demands, ignoring the fact that he can probably figure it out if he reads the info in front of him. 

No pause. "With Scharhrot, of course." 

Ezel almost chokes. It's only then that he notices Gurguit is wearing some black turtleneck that goes much higher than his usual gold-collar shirt, and he's using a different set of prosthetics, for some god-forsaken reason Ezel can imagine (but he most definitely doesn't want to). 

"What the _fuck?!"_ he yells, incredulous. "I can't believe you made me take care of your fucking knights for some _shitty vampire dick-"_

"Ass," Gurguit corrects in the same breath, and Ezel actually chokes until Gurguit has to get him a glass of water. 

~

A/N that was too long for the end notes: 

yes, yall read that right - gurguit has prosthetics. The full story is too long to explain here but basically he got quadruple amputated by claret sword from joint-down. Long story, just a dumb personal hc. they’re also mana-powered, and made of the same stuff as his armor that converts sunlight to mana. 

I do have a WIP explaining this in more narrative detail, but that won’t be done for a while. 

Scharhrot can absorb mana by touch, so im sure yall know how to connect the dots. 

**Author's Note:**

> idk how or why it became ezel focused but it did, probably cos of the extra snippets. ive never written ezel before and i honestly hadnt planned to but i think itd be funny if he was a little wild. and curses a lot 
> 
> also yes, ezel and garmore are old men (but not that old) 
> 
> gurguit saying "ass" is sending me and i was the fucking one who wrote it help 
> 
> me: i dont ship scharhrot and gurguit  
> also me: [writes this fic] 
> 
> also yes, Ray is the name of gurguit's bird, because i said so.
> 
> more vg nonsense on my twit: https://twitter.com/Hayaang1


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